


Arbitrary Leadership Qualifications

by screwds



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Based entirely on the fact that all the other male protags use swords, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Short One Shot, Swords
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-14
Updated: 2017-07-14
Packaged: 2018-12-02 06:17:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11503494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/screwds/pseuds/screwds
Summary: The protagonists of all the other Persona games meet Yusuke and decide he's the leader of his own Persona group. Because he has a sword.





	Arbitrary Leadership Qualifications

“But you use a sword,” says the grey-haired boy dragging a claymore along the ground. “So you must be the leader.”

Yusuke holds--clutches, really--at his katana and looks at the group of people who have cornered him in Mementos. There’s a man with an unfortunate case of helmet hair, motorcycle helmet hitched casually on a hip; two women alike in enthusiasm and different in hair and age; and a tired-looking boy with his same hair color at the very back of the group.

“Ehh...that’s stupid logic,” says the girl with red hair bundled into a high ponytail. “Maya-chan and I both don’t use swords!”

The other woman, whom he supposes is Maya-chan, puts her hand on the girl’s shoulder. “It’s _boy_ logic, Minako-chan,” she says, and smiles knowingly at them.

“Pardon me,” Yusuke tries, because he was raised to be polite in spite of his usual extracurricular activities, and it was usually Ann and Ryuji who felt the need to verbally smack down their targets prior to changing their heart. A group of strangers surrounding him in the Metaverse wasn’t any more unusual an occurrence than stealing a vault’s worth of gold, or jumping in and out of terribly empty paintings, or running down the side of a collapsing pyramid. “May I inquire as to who you are?”

The boy at the back of the group says flatly, ignoring Yusuke’s query, “Mitsuru-sempai would have been leader by that logic.”

“Mitsuru-sempai _was_ the leader of S.E.E.S. for awhile!” The girl called Minako-chan tapped her foot thoughtfully. “Do you suppose there’s actual value to this theory, Maya-chan? Maybe I should give swording a try!”

Maya-chan’s eyes light up; she claps her hands together, as if struck by a thought. “That’s a wonderful idea! Tatsuya-san, may I borrow your sword?”

“...” says the man with the helmet. Tatsuya-san’s face looks like it’s usually unfriendly, what Ann would term a “resting bitch face”, but there’s an extra pinch to his eyes that screams of being extremely uncomfortable. “I’m...not sure that’s a good idea,” he says, and immediately stops talking, as if those words broke out without his consent.

“Why not?” Maya-chan demands. “If you’re looking down on me because I’m a _girl_ …” she cracks her knuckles. “It’ll be _whoop-ass time!_ ”

Tatsuya-san holds his hands up hurriedly, placating. “...!”

Minako-chan smiles broadly at them all; it’s terrifying. “Don’t waste your bullets on them, Maya-chan! I’ll just get Mitsuru-sempai to execute them all!”

The blue-haired boy at the back turns pale--paler than he was to begin with. The grey-haired boy frowns. “...execution?” he asks.

“Don’t ask, Narukami,” the blue-haired boy says hurriedly. “You don’t want to know.”

Yusuke’s officially lost the plot of the situation, if there even was one in the first place. He tries again, “Excuse me?”

The grey-haired boy--Narukami, that other one called him--turns back towards him with a faint frown. “Ah, sorry about that. You _are_ the leader of your group, aren’t you?” he says with worrying intensity, peering intently at Yusuke. He’s wearing glasses with colored frames.

Yusuke holds out his hands in front of him in a gesture of peace. He’s still clutching his katana in his left hand; the group of people surrounding him tense. He ruefully wishes that he had someplace to carry his katana on his person; alas, it’s so long that he could only carry it in his hands. “I mean no disrespect, but who _are_ you people? What are you talking about? Leader?”

“We’re a...group of Persona users. We just happened to find each other here.” Narukami says. Yusuke’s relieved--finally, a straightforward answer. “I’m Yu Narukami. I was the leader of the Investigation Team, dedicated to finding the culprit of a string of serial murders.”

“Introduction time?” the blue-haired boy says. He sighs and slides a clip-on headphone off an ear. “Whatever. I’m Minato Arisato.”

“And I’m Minako Arisato! Nice to meet you!” Minako chirps with a bright smile.

“I was the leader of a Shadow eradication team called S.E.E.S.” He frowns a little. “I mean, we were. But not at the same time.”

“It’s complicated,” Minako says with a shrug.

“Ciao~! I’m Maya Amano, nice to meet you as well! And this guy here--” she nods at Tatsuya-san, who grimaces and looks increasingly resigned.

“I’m Tatsuya Suou,” he says.

“--is Tatsuya, and we hunt demons!” Maya finishes with a flourish. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Yusuke Kitagawa,” he says automatically. It’s only polite manners to answer when asked a direct question. His head is spinning with the influx of information. He lowers his hands and lets the katana hang at his side. Yusuke’s never been good with a sudden crowd, having spent the majority of his life engaged in artistic isolation.

Yusuke tries to arrange his thoughts in small, manageable increments. They’re in the Metaverse. They said they were Persona users. Yusuke’s in his Fox costume; his katana is loosely held at his side, and they’ve been asking if he’s the leader. The leader of a group of Persona-users...Yusuke blinks. Could they be referring to Joker?

Except they--especially Narukami--keep focusing on his katana, so he’s left wondering if there’s any special significance to his katana that he doesn’t know about. Narukami’s holding a claymore, Minato a one-handed straight sword, and Tatsuya something similar. Minako’s using her naginata to stabilize her footing on the train tracks, and he spots a flash of pink in twin holsters around Maya’s waist.

“Look,” Narukami says, breaking Yusuke’s train of thought. “We suddenly got dropped in here, wherever this is, and we’d like to find our way back to our friends. And all of us,” he indicates the guys, “use swords and were leaders of our own groups of Persona users, so when we saw you, it made sense that you were also the leader of your group.”

“So you...assumed I was the leader based solely off the identity of my weapon?” Yusuke says slowly. He shakes his head. “That doesn’t sound like a very good basis for choosing a leader.”

Minato shrugs, clipping his headphone back on his ear. “‘S as good of a metric as anything,” he says disinterestedly.

Yusuke had gotten separated from the rest of the Phantom Thieves at some point during a routine battle when a stray Shadow had donkey-kicked him in clear of the battle. He couldn’t hear Oracle’s voice in his head, which meant that they had probably not noticed his absence just yet. Which meant it was entirely his problem to deal with--no unanimous decision on what to do with these Metaverse intruders, who, now that Yusuke’s thinking about it, might be dangerous people that shouldn’t be let loose on the general population.

He considers them. They look back in varying amounts of slouching and silence. Even the women, who are far more enthusiastic and seem to have more to say, stay silent. And all of them were Persona users…

Well. It couldn’t do any harm to show them where the exit was, anyways. Yusuke eyes the weapons--the Metaverse made his sword as sharp as the original his were based off of, but theirs held the sheen of true steel that his lacked in the real world. It’d be better if they didn’t get lost in Mementos and end up encountering the Phantom Thieves, who would be aggressively confused, and would end up being aggressively confused at his motley group to the point of battling them, and that could only end in tears and bloodshed. Mostly bloodshed.

It’s exactly like shooing out a stray moth that had flown in and was attempting to zap itself on a naked lightbulb, Yusuke decides. It’s the polite thing to do. It’s hardly their fault they had gotten tossed into Mementos without any prior warning, and it’s to their credit that they’re handling being in a creepy alternate dimension as well as they are.

“Allow me to show you where the exit is so that you may rejoin your friends,” Yusuke says. They’re not very far down in Mementos, and the way back is always easier than forging a path ahead. For one, the train tracks back to the real world actually form an easy-to-follow path.

Maya graces him with a brilliant smile. “Thank you, Yusuke! You’re a lifesaver!”

Tatsuya gives him a brief nod and the barest hint of a smile. “...thanks.”

Minako pumps a fist in the air and cheers, “Yeah! Let’s get outta here!”

Minato huffs a pleased sigh. Narukami grins in relief. “That’s the best thing I’ve heard today,” he says gratefully.

“This way,” Yusuke says, and starts heading towards the entrance.

\---

“Hey, where were you after the battle? Everything okay?” Joker asks. The rest of the Phantom Thieves haul themselves out of the Morgana bus, moving slowly.

Yusuke lowers his hands from where he’s using them as a frame in the entrance of Mementos. “I was struck by a stray blow and found myself in the midst of an interesting situation,” he explains. “I was confronted by individuals who judged me based on the length of my weapon.”

Joker coughs and gives him a funny look. “Okay, Yusuke.”

Yusuke thinks a bit more, then adds, “They were very insistent that having a sword was the mark of a leader.”

Joker twirls his dirk with a flourish, catching it by his shoulder. “Wanna take my position?” he asks wickedly.

Yusuke widens his eyes. “Never!” He would end up talking about swords and executions like that group of Persona users, and he could only be so strange before he wasn’t accepted in society. “You’re the only leader for the Phantom Thieves,” he adds, and presses a hand to his chest.

“...thanks.” There’s a small smile on Joker’s face. “Let’s get back to the others.”

**Author's Note:**

> I've only actually read LPs of P2 and P3, so sorry if the characters are flat and OOC. 
> 
> Little bit of crack I wrote to procrastinate on the numerous other WIPs I've been avoiding since June. (There are a lot and they keep getting longer).


End file.
